Let's Take a Scary Turn onto Quincy Street

My roommate managed to find a free bed on Craigslist. He moved it in yesterday, after renting a U-Haul. I was inside the kitchen/living room and saw him come in, drop off the matress and then he disappeared for a good twenty or so minutes. When he finally came back he told me that as he was getting out of the truck, one of the women who lives two buildings down from us invited him over to have a drink. Of Hennessey. HENNESSEY. All I could think of was:

Why are black people drinking Hennesseey out of plastic cups?! On a Tuesday night?? On a stoop???

They worked him over pretty well. Somehow they managed to figure out that we live in the same apartment, which is weird, since we've never come in or out at the same time. Needless to say, they think we're shacking up and he did nothing to dissuade them from the fact, because, as he claims, they began referring to him as something along the lines of a young tender sweet thing and he was terrified of where that was heading.